Communication Temptations: 12 Setups That Give Your Toddler a Reason to Communicate
Communication temptations are small, deliberate setups that give your child a reason to communicate, followed by a pause long enough for them to do it. You put the crackers in a clear container they can't open and wait. You blow bubbles, close the lid, and wait. The child wants something, you're the way to get it, and the gap you leave is where a look, a reach, a sound, or a word shows up. Below are the six kinds of temptation the book describes, twelve setups you can run tonight with the words to say afterward, and the mistakes that turn a temptation into a test.
What a communication temptation is
The term comes from speech-language pathology. Amy Wetherby and Barry Prizant described a set of structured temptations in the late 1980s as a way to sample a young child's communication during assessment, and the idea was adopted as a teaching tool because the setups that reveal communication also encourage it (Wetherby & Prizant, 1989). Before a child can say words, they need a reason to communicate, and most of a toddler's day is arranged so they never need one: snacks appear, toys work, doors open, and a loving, efficient parent anticipates every need. A communication temptation interrupts that efficiency on purpose, in a small and playful way, making communication slightly more necessary than it was a minute ago.
Why it works: a reason, then a pause
The reason is motivation. Children communicate most readily about things they want, and a temptation uses something your child already cares about (a snack, bubbles, your tickling hands) as the engine.
The pause is the part parents find hardest. After you set up the temptation, you stop talking and wait, with an expectant face, for a silent count of five (the kit's first principle: count to 5 silently before helping or responding). Many children with autism need that long to organize a response, and the response, when it comes, is usually small: a glance at your face, a hand toward the container, a grunt. If you fill the silence with "Do you want the cracker? Say cracker," you've answered for them.
Communication is learned in moments when the child's attention and the adult's words are pointed at the same thing (Tomasello & Farrar, 1986), and children who gesture more early on tend to build larger vocabularies later (Rowe & Goldin-Meadow, 2009). A temptation locks your child's attention on one thing, draws out a gesture or sound about it, and lets you supply the word.
Six kinds of temptation (from the book)
Nearly any setup you invent falls into one of the book's six kinds.
A favorite item in a clear container the child can see but can't open.
Give a little, then pause. One cracker, one puzzle piece, then wait before offering more.
Do something unexpected or funny. A toy on your head. A song that stops halfway.
Create a need for help. Crayons with no paper. A car with no ramp.
A closed or stuck toy. A wind-up toy that's wound down, handed over as is.
Toys that need you. Balloons, spinning tops, puppets.
The book's attention chapter adds a related idea it calls engineering communication opportunities: the snack in a sealed zip bag, the puzzle handed over one piece at a time, favorite toys on a visible but high shelf. Set it up so the child needs to initiate, even a little.
12 setups you can run tonight
For each: the setup, the pause, and what to say once your child does anything at all ("anything at all" is defined in the next section, and it's broader than you think). Pick two or three for tonight.
1. Crackers in a clear jar
Put a few favorite crackers in a clear container with a lid your child can't manage and set it in front of them. Hands in your lap, eyebrows up, count to five. When they look, reach, or vocalize: "Crackers! Open." Give one, close it, repeat.
2. One goldfish at a time
Hand over a single cracker instead of a pile. When it's gone, hold the next one up by your eye and wait. "More? More cracker!"
3. Bubbles, then the lid
Blow bubbles for a minute so they're hooked, then put the lid on and hold the jar near your face. Count silently. "Bubbles! Open!" This is the most reliable temptation I know, and it also teaches the gaze shift at the heart of joint attention activities.
4. The wind-up that wound down
Wind up a toy, let it run until it stops, then pick it up and hold it still without saying anything. Wait for a look or reach. "More? Wind it up!"
5. The sealed zip bag
Put a snack or small favorite toy in a sealed zip bag and hand it over. Let them try. When they look at you or hold it out, wait one more beat. "Help! Open."
6. One puzzle piece
Hold all the pieces and hand over one. When it's placed, hold the next piece up and wait. "Another? Dog piece!"
7. The song that stops
Sing a song your child loves and stop before a word they know well: "The wheels on the bus go round and..." Look at them expectantly. If they vocalize, move, or look: "Round! Round and round!" Any sound counts as the fill-in.
8. The shoe on your head
While getting dressed, put their shoe on your head and look confused. Wait for a laugh, a point, a protest, or a "no." "Silly! Shoe on head! Shoe on foot."
9. The toy without batteries
Hand over a musical or light-up toy that's switched off. Let them discover it doesn't work, then wait for them to look at you or bring it to you. "Uh-oh. Help! Turn on."
10. The high shelf
Keep two or three favorite toys on a shelf your child can see but not reach. When they look up at it or stand under it, wait a beat before helping. "You want the car? Car!" This is one of the better ways to teach pointing; how pointing relates to joint attention covers the next step.
11. Ready, set...
Any action they love that you control: a swing push, a spin, a tickle. Say "Ready, set..." and freeze until something happens, even a wiggle. "GO!" Next time, hold the freeze slightly longer.
12. The door held closed
Going outside, hold the door shut for a moment with your hand on the knob and look at your child. Count to five. "Open! Open the door!" The book calls this making it just tricky enough: a moment, not a standoff.
Most of these use the same handful of objects, and toys for joint attention explains why things you control do double duty for both skills.
Twenty setups with the words to say.
The kit's 20 Communication Temptation Scenarios (at home, mealtime, the park, bath and bedtime), with the Response Guide table showing what your child might do and exactly how to respond.
One email with the PDF, plus occasional early-intervention tips from Andrea. Unsubscribe anytime.
What counts as communication (and how to respond)
A communication temptation is a setup for a message, and messages come in many forms before words. All of these count:
- A glance from the object to your face
- A reach toward the object or toward you
- A point, even an unformed one with the whole hand
- Pulling your hand toward the thing, or handing you the container
- Any sound, grunt, or syllable directed at the situation
- A protest: fussing, pushing the lid, a "no" sound
- A word or an approximation of one ("ba" for bubbles)
You respond to every one of them the same way: smile, respond warmly as if they'd said a sentence, and give what they wanted while modeling the word or gesture they could use next time ("Bubbles!" as you blow).
Why respond to the grunt and the fuss too? Because the lesson being taught is "when I send a signal, it works." Every signal that gets a response makes the next signal more likely, and signals get more sophisticated when the earlier ones are honored. A child whose reach is ignored until a word appears learns that communicating is unreliable. The word comes later, from the modeling, which only lands because the child is still in the game. This is the same reason parallel talk works: the words you supply are matched to a moment the child is fully attending to.
How many per day, and when to stop
Three to five temptations a day is plenty, and they should live inside routines you're already doing: snack, bath, dressing, the walk to the car. A temptation takes thirty seconds.
Stop a given temptation when your child is frustrated rather than engaged: crying rather than fussing, turning away, melting down. Give the thing, model the word anyway, and try again tomorrow with an easier version (a shorter pause, an easier lid). Also skip temptations when your child is tired, hungry, or already dysregulated. The book's phrase is regulation before education, and a child who's falling apart can't learn anything from a jar they can't open.
Common mistakes (waiting too long, making it a test, rescuing too fast)
Waiting too long. The pause is a count of five. If nothing has happened by then, model the response yourself (point at the jar, say "crackers!") and give one. A thirty-second standoff teaches your child that this game is unpleasant.
Making it a test. "Say bubbles. Bubbles. Can you say bubbles?" Repeated demands turn a playful setup into a drill, and a child who feels tested will often stop trying. One model, then the thing.
Rescuing too fast. The more common mistake. A parent sees the child look at the jar and opens it before the child has had a chance to look at them. The look at the jar was the start of a message; the look at you is the message. Give it two more seconds.
Only accepting words. If your child reaches and you hold out for "cracker," you've skipped every rung between reaching and talking. Honor the reach, model the word, and let the word come when it comes.
If you're in the waiting period before an evaluation and want a first-week plan that puts three of these setups into your existing routines, the start-now plan does that. The full Communication Temptations Toolkit, with the positioning guide and a tracking log alongside the 20 scenarios and the response guide, is in the book and resource kit.
Frequently asked questions
What are communication temptations in speech therapy?
They're structured setups that create a reason for a child to communicate, followed by a pause so the child can do it: a snack in a clear container, bubbles with the lid on, a wind-up toy that's stopped. Speech-language pathologists use them to sample communication during assessment and to encourage it during therapy, and they transfer easily to home.
What are examples of communication temptations for autism?
A favorite snack in a sealed zip bag, one puzzle piece at a time, a song that stops before a known word, a toy with the batteries out, and "Ready, set..." with a long freeze before "go." For autistic children, the pause matters most, since many need the full silent count of five to respond, and any signal (a glance, reach, or sound) should be treated as communication.
How do I encourage my toddler to communicate without pressuring them?
Arrange the environment so communication is useful, then wait with an expectant face instead of asking questions. Respond to any signal, including a look or a reach, as if it were a sentence, and model the word while you give the item. Avoid repeating "say ___" and avoid holding out for a word.
Twenty setups with the words to say.
The kit's 20 Communication Temptation Scenarios (at home, mealtime, the park, bath and bedtime), with the Response Guide table showing what your child might do and exactly how to respond.
One email with the PDF, plus occasional early-intervention tips from Andrea. Unsubscribe anytime.